A couple of weeks ago I went into a local small specialty store that does not get a lot of foot traffic. The store sells lots of  expensive gift items, and a few lower cost items such as cards and candles. I wanted a card and like this store's small but unique selection. I found what I wanted and when I went to pay the store owner, she asked me, quite pointedly, "that's it?" Then she started asking whether I wanted to look at the handcrafted candlesticks and other gift items.  Her remarks made it clear that she needed more business and that my one $3 card was not going to cut it.

<strong>She was giving me a guilt trip.</strong>

If you look up the term "guilt trip" you will come up with several psychology-based articles such as  <a href="v\https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201305/7-ways-get-out-guilt-trips" target="_blank">"7 ways to get out of guilt trips"</a>, which define what a guilt trip is and why people use it. Basically, people use guilt trips in an effort to control behavior. Although guilt trips may reach their mark, they often cause resentment and anger toward the "guilt tripper."

And I definitely felt resentment when I left the store. On the one hand, I felt bad for the store owner and wondered how she was going to stay in business. On the other hand, I felt angry since I had specifically gone to this store to buy a special card and this woman seemed ungrateful.

<strong>How effective is the guilt trip?</strong>

This got me thinking about how some charities appeal to donors by using guilt. If charities appeal to your feelings of guilt for having access to comfort and food while others starve and suffer, do you resent being manipulated? Or is it an effective way to break through the clutter and inspire action (a donation)?

I am sure you remember the TV commercial for a charity that would show pictures of starving children in Africa, often focusing on their distended stomachs and the horrible conditions around them. We were told that we could ease the suffering simply by sponsoring one child for the price of a cup of coffee a day.  The underlying message was crystal clear:  you should feel guilty buying your daily coffee when that money could save a child's life.

Guilt trips <em>are</em> effective in forcing action (after all, how many parents have used the line about starving children in Africa to get kids to finish eating their meals) but they may have negative consequences. Perhaps you stop feeling guilty once you've made a donation and then never donate again. Or perhaps,  you resent being made to feel guilty and you ignore the appeal altogether.

In our age of DVRs and ad-blocking, it is especially easy to ignore commercials and charitable appeals altogether.

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